Here is Jordan’s real first draft — polite, apologetic, and destined for the folder with no exit. Rewrite it in the editor and the eight-item rubric scores every keystroke, the hedges highlight themselves, and the ten-second test shows what a colleague would take away if you handed them the draft and snatched it back. Aim for eight of eight without making it longer.
Your draft · edit freely
Highlighted in gold: hedges, apologies and filler that spend words without moving the reader. In red: speculation and blame that should never enter a document of record.
Pre-send rubric
0of 8 checks passing
The ten-second test
Hand the draft to a colleague, let them look for ten seconds, take it back, and ask what you want and by when. This is roughly what they see.